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Loneliness: Why Does People feel lonely?

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 03:35:32 +0100

I shouted my Facebook account last December 26, 2010 that “I felt alone.” After welcoming the long awaited season of joy and peace, after my whole family celebrated together at the table with Noche Buena. Here I was, left in the midst of the desert. I was feeling lonely despite in the midst of the crowd. It seems that no one can hear me shouting. While serving the Masses in ourParish, I was able to ask myself: “Was the heart of Christ lonely?” The four Gospels gave us common pictures of Jesus that He always slipped off by himself into the hills to pray. There He could hear the sounds of life coming up from the small towns and villages, so like His own Nazareth. Did the sounds make Him lonely? There are few sounds in our human experience more evocative, more mood-creating that the sounds of loneliness. According to Joan Kavanaugh, a doctor of ministry and director of the Riverside Church pastoral counseling center, she gives us the common descriptions and effects of loneliness. It is a sleepless night that never ends, spent in front of the telephone that never rings, waiting for a Sun that never comes up. It can leave us drained, defeated, weary, and depressed.

It can also rob the motivation of the person. Kavanaugh says that there is no reason to feel ashamed. Loneliness is a normal, even an expected part of a full life.

Moreover, loneliness is a cry. Loneliness is the testing ground for the spirit. Loneliness is a desert that has to be crossed. It has its risks and terrors, but it also provides us with an open horizon in which we can discover the shape and direction of our personal pilgrimage. Out of loneliness can come growth and depressed sensitivity to life.

Despite that the world may have become a global village because of the Internet and mobile phones, but many still deals with loneliness and emotional distress that may worsen of someone’s life. The research, suggests that chronic loneliness belong among health risk factors such as smoking, obesity or lack of exercise.

Now, once we understand this, once we understand what causes of loneliness, we can take steps to find our way out. Loneliness, above all, reveals the transcendent mystery at the heart of our lives, an infinite longing for a final reunion. As St. Augustine found out, “My heart is restless ‘till it rest in Him.” Loneliness teach us that this kind of restlessness, this insatiable emptiness, this infinite need that no human love can satisfy, can only be filled by an infinite, loving God.

After meditation on loneliness before the Blessed Sacrament, I would like to share with you this learning that God allows us to go through loneliness because it teaches us how much we need Him. So, when the time you feel alone. You should be grateful because loneliness are an opportunity for us to go deeper into ourselves through prayer. It may draw us closer to God.

Metanoia

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 07:43:26 +0100

Some people are walking on the streets and cry-out, “Ibagsak ang mga capitalismo, consumirismo, materialismo, individualismo at lahat na mga ismo.” But first and foremost, we forget to pull down, the akomismo, Ikawmismo, at tayomismo. According to John F. Kennedy, “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” It is our responsibility to do something for our country. We should not be slaved by our own selves by doing what we want to do. Freedom means many things to many people. We can view freedom politically, as having the opportunity to vote for particular ideas, people, or parties which best represent our views. Closely tied to this is the notion of freedom of speech, where one has the liberty to voice their personal opinion or perspective. Others understand freedom in a financial context, where people seek to free themselves of financial debt, outstanding credit, and burdensome loans. This is true freedom - Metanoia. God changes our heart by His Holy Spirit. God makes us spiritually alive by giving us a new heart. This heart desires to love God. It sees Jesus Christ as beautiful and desires to love Him as the Lord and Savior of our life. By faith, we give our life to Jesus and receive His forgiveness and freedom from sin. Not only this, but we are now free to do the very thing we were created to do – to honor and enjoy God forever. And this joy in God is from our heart – our new heart given to us by God.

Why Do People Fear Death

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:35:07 +0100

Have you ever wondered why do people fear to death? As I watch the film, “After Life” I come to realize that I have feared to death also because of unpreparedness. Anna Taylor (Christina Ricci) and Paul Coleman (Justin Long), are an uneasy couple that argue often, largely due to both of their relationships with Anna’s mother. After a misunderstanding at dinner of Paul’s big promotion and an impending move to Chicago, Anna storms out of the restaurant. She suffers a horrible car accident, and is shocked to wake up as Elliot (Liam Neeson), a funeral director, is preparing her body for her funeral. Elliot reveals he has a gift of helping the dead settle their issues in order to cross over, but Anna refuses to accept her death. Paul, also not to be convinced of Anna’s death, also struggles to prove that the deranged, Elliot, is planning to bury Anna alive.

Death, it can be safely said, is probably the most feared thing on the face of Earth. Those asked are unable to explain why they fear death so much. Some scholars who have thorough study of human nature reached the conclusion that there are possibly three reasons for people to fear death. Firstly, by fearing death, a person actually fears the unknown. No one knows for sure what will happen to them once they die. Thus, this fear of the unknown, that always accompanies man, makes him fear death and dark alike. Secondly, the thought that we will have to answer our deeds in the hereafter, frightens us. That is because there are not satisfied. That they haven't harmed a man by either hand or tongue and have done good deeds throughout their lives. We all speak white lies shamelessly, and do many awful things, some unintentional, while the others we overlook by thinking them worthless. These thoughts come to us as soon as we think of death. Thirdly, we are too much in love with the world and its superficial beauties. We can't even think of leaving it and its charms. The thought of leaving the world forever itself is dreadful. These were the main reasons for people to fear death which, can never be fully understood.

Generally, our fear of death is an unhealthy and unrealistic fear-we don’t want to die, so we ignore the subject, deny it, or get morbidly obsessed by it and think that life is meaningless. However, right now we cannot do anything about dying, so there is no point of fearing the death itself. What kind of fear is useful? A healthy fear of death would be the fear of dying prepared, as this is a fear we can do something about, a danger we can avert. If we have this realistic fear, this sense of danger, we are encouraged to prepare for a peaceful and successful death and are also inspired to make the most of our very precious human life instead of wasting it.

According to the Modern Kadampa Teachers, Geshe Kelsang, dying with regrets is not at all unusual. To avoid a sad and meaningless end to our life we need to remember continually that we too must die. He says that contemplating our own death will inspire us to use our life wisely by developing the inner refuge of spiritual realizations; otherwise we shall have no ability to protect our self from the sufferings of death and what lies beyond. Moreover, he said that when someone close to us is dying, such as a parent or friend, we shall be powerless to help them because we shall not know how; and we shall experience sadness and frustration at our inability to be of genuine help. Preparing for death is one of the kindest and wisest things we can do both for our self and others. Recently, my stepmother died due to breast cancer. I believe that she’s prepared on her death because three months before she died, she received the sacrament of reconciliation. And also the matrimonial rite with my father in her bed which was officiated by Rev. Msgr. Rogelio Fuentes, my spiritual director. Then, she also received weekly the body of Jesus Christ with the helped of our local lay minister. I was also able to share with her the facts about death and how to utilize suffering wisely.

The fact of the matter is that this world is not our home. Kelsang emphasized that we are travelers, and passing through. We came from dust, and in a few years, or a few days, we shall move on to our next life. We entered this world empty-handed and alone, and we shall leave empty-handed and alone. Everything we have accumulated in this life, including our very body, will be left behind. All that we can take with us from one life to the next are the imprints of the positive and negative actions we have created. If we ignore death we shall waste our life working for things that we shall only have to leave behind, creating many negative actions in the process, and having to travel on to our next life with nothing but a heavy burden of sins.

On the other hand, if we base our life on a realistic awareness of our mortality, we shall regard our spiritual development as far more important than the attainments of this world, and we shall view our time in this world principally as an opportunity to cultivate virtues such as patience, love, compassion, and wisdom. Motivated by these virtuous we shall perform good deeds, thereby creating the cause for future happiness. When the time of our death comes we shall be able to pass away without fear or regret, our mind empowered by the virtuous we have created, and when the death actually comes we shall feel like a child returning to the home of its parents, and pass away joyfully, indeed, without fear.

CDUH Speech

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 09:25:49 +0100

“This is my testimonial speech at Cebu Doctors’ University Hospital’s during the symposium about the Kidney Transplantation Awareness.”

There’s this boy, I know. A decade ago he could not have imagined surviving in the difficulties of life. Who was he anyway but a homebody kid, and at his young age he struggle against poverty. Who was he anyway a tiny but optimistic boy. Despite struggling to make a living, he continues to dream and move on. What a positive philosophy he has. He always believes that life is a beautiful journey. He has been a scavenger once. He never forgets this experience when he ate some foods that were thrown in the garbage because of hunger. There were times when his family could only have one meal in a day and eat some good meat when they got leftovers from the garbage. Who was he anyway a dreamer and believer that education is one of the great treasures that can be kept in life. And so, he finished his highschool and landed into different job experiences; such as construction laborer, machinist helper, janitorial and manufacturing operator in an American firm at the MEPZ. Then, he became a breadwinner. He sent his siblings to school as well as himself as he continues to college. This boy is me.

Life is a complex description. Apparently, there were time that I was walking in the park while on the other days, I felt like an uphill ran on a rocky road. However, each experience helped me to define the person who I am now. Since all of my siblings had their own job and some of them have their own family, I felt free like a bird, to fly in any direction. I quitted my white collar job in MEPZ which I had two decades of service there and chosen not to work again for I preferred to serve God by pursuing my long-time dream of becoming a priest. I entered in the seminary to deepen my discernment for priesthood vocation.

While in the seminary, I learned that the uncle (a priest) of a fellow seminarian needed a kidney transplant. It has also been my dream to donate an organ after my death but did not know where to go to make an arrangement, so when I heard of the need of a fellow seminarian’s uncle, I quickly volunteered. Why should I wait to die for me to help? Were in fact, we have two kidneys, one is to care and the other one is to share. I can live healthy with one kidney. I’m just a steward of this earthly body and it’s about time I gave it back to the owner (God).

Laboratories were on progress and I received personal confrontations from the people closest to me not to pursue the kidney donation because this might risk my life. But this is my ‘ultimate expression of love for my neighbor in terms of being prepared to sacrifice. In the fictional movies, the essence of being a hero is sacrifice. Everyone needs a hero, as saying goes, ‘no man is an island.’ For me, valuing sacrifice is call to be a God’s instrument of touching one’s life. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, “This kind of action is only virtuous if the person reflects upon the danger or risk involved in the act. The elements of risk and danger in virtuous actions are components of that certain kind of altruistic action that is defined by sacrifice or by the need for the agent to give something up in performing the act.” This action is, for Aquinas, directed ultimately towards the end of achieving divinity. I am pretty sure that this reflects the benefit of the Holy Spirit’s gift of courage that reflects confidently and without fear of my decision.

Nothing changes after donation. All activities were back to normal except the high resulted of creatine (1.9) after several months but gradually going down with enough intakes of water, regular exercise and healthy diet. This is a normal reaction since I only have one kidney that undergoing an adjustment. The scar does not degrade my self-esteem but reminding me always the Gospel that goes “Whoever saves his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake he will find it” (cf Matthew 10:39). The moral sense of this verse is to do our social responsibility. Whoever loses his life for the sake of God’s name will do his duty and end this life leaving some heart prints to people closest to him. A new life will sprout or an extension of it will grow into someone’s life.

There are moral and ethics argumentation about kidney donation. In the Philippines, moral issue arises about this topic when Filipinos selling their kidneys. Some Filipino contacts or foreign recipients utilize the vulnerability of those people in the slums area who have difficulties to make a living in life. For an altruist person and also in Christian ethics of charity, ‘courage was an important component too in pursuing true happiness and the good virtuous’ (Aquinas 1964: II-II. 129.2). Helping others without expecting any in return, indeed, is an act of altruism. And this is my advocate, to inspire a living donor by sharing these experiences, touching the lives of those who have the desire to help other people especially those suffering the renal diseases. Inspiring them to become God’s instrument to let these people ‘experience life’ (an engrave words in the door of Cebu Transplant Network clinic). And lastly, this decision making was not made by my self alone. I prayed a lot that if this decision could bring the glory to His name and for the good for my soul, I have in mind that God will grant it. After praying fervently in the chapel of the St. Therese of the Child Jesus at the San Carlos Seminary College, I’ve seen a rose petal (red) under the kneeling. And I interpreted that scenario that my decision was aligned to His divine plan, for me and for Fr. Renerio Dayanan, the recipient of one of my kidneys.

This selfless and life time sacrifice, thus, is a call and inspiration that everyone could be God’s instrument to let someone ‘experience life.’ I feel grateful and thankful to God for these opportunities that come along my ways. With all of these experiences, I optimistically find the meaning and purpose in self-giving. My sacrifices, and the way I dealt with them, are among the many gifts that shape my life.

Insane Follower

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 09:22:06 +0100

By Marcelino Arcilla Rapayla Jr.

Some people say, “Are you insane?” And some others say, “You’re too old enough to enter.”

Despite this, I entered the seminary and quit from my stable job. It’s true that if you want to follow Jesus Christ you’ll become foolish person, in the context of leaving all the worldly possessions for the formation and being dictated by that almighty bell for the day’s tasks in the seminary.

I experienced misunderstanding with my young fellow seminarians and a great adjustment in my new endeavor. My desire directed me to move on despite my regency due to academic reason at San Carlos Seminary College (SCSC). I kept on searching for the truth. The true happiness is that which is spoken to the inner reality of my human longing as a person. Like our Holy Father Augustine, my heart is restless until it rests in Him, my Supreme Being.

I am so happy that behind the dark clouds and the fact that I’m already 40 years old), while searching from several communities, the Order of the Discalced Augustinians accepted me.

Yes, until now I am still persevering in my academic life in the seminary. It maybe hard but I believe that God is there to help me for I know that He is calling me. That’s why I am nurturing this vocation in my seminary formation. One thing that I have learned from our Holy Father is the truth which will is found only in our hearts and that truth is God.

On the other hand, from a Christian perspective, sharing a part of my organ is a life-time sacrifice but I believe that I am doing this as a fruit of the Holy Spirit’s gift which is courage. This courage moved me to be a living witness of His love. The good deeds I’ve done are the values that I have learned from the life in and out the seminary.

In the aspect of seminary as a community, I do not believe that there is a perfect community but nurturing my life in this place and the ways I dealt with the circumstances, they are ways of shaping my life into the perfect image for the greater glory of God.

Yes folks, it is life’s system that captures God’s wisdom for coping with our most difficult problems. I keep this desire burning in my heart because as we entrust our life with God, He will possess us not only what is in our head but He will use our hearts as well. After all, “Moingon man sila nga nabuang ko but at least, sa Ginoo.”